The Foundry

Commentary to "She Creature"

2012-02-04T15:56:00.000-06:00

What my decision was in reviewing this movie...

"She Creature" Crossover with Obscurus Lupa

2012-02-04T10:52:00.002-06:00

Obscurus Lupa and I review a terrible mermaid movie together...

A Time of War: Fourth Edition Battletech the RPG

2012-01-31T10:04:00.002-06:00

The last in my four part series

The Audio Version of My Interview With Herbert Beas II

2011-12-08T22:24:00.000-06:00

If you'd prefer to listen to instead of read the manuscript.

My Interview with "Time of War" Designer: Herbert Beas II

2011-12-08T19:07:00.005-06:00

The following is the text version of the complete interview.

And Here's the Interview!

Liz: How did you become affiliated with the Time of War project?

Herb: Brace yourself for a story:

It all basically goes back to when BattleTech was being written by all of us at FanPro and decided it was time for a new edition. As the Line Developers at the time (Randall Bills was transitioning out of BattleTech and I was transitioning in as Line Developer), we felt that the entire game line, at 20 or so years of age, was due a “head to toe” revision. We originally planned it to simply clarify older and more obscure rules, but it eventually became a six-book plan as we realized that idea of getting all rules together, fully clear and fleshed out, would have been nigh impossible and confusing to newer players.

To keep the workload from becoming overwhelming, Randall and I agreed to split developer/primary writing duties. He took Total Warfare, so I took TechManual. He took Tactical Operations, and I took what was then called simply BattleTech RPG, Revised (eventually A Time of War). Since I was one of the biggest advocates of BattleTech role-playing since helping to write the Third Edition MechWarrior game, I was the natural choice for its next update.

Liz: What were you specifically in charge of for the Time of War game; are there any sections you wrote personally?

Herb: As the line and product developer, I was specifically in charge of the entire book, from outline through final draft (and I even took on errata after it went to “beta”). Design of virtually all core rules—from character creation through basic gameplay and combat—was my main focus. As developer, I delegated a lot of the supporting rules, fluff, and the fiction to others, but the “engine”, as it stands, is my work here, in terms of writing it.

Liz: Was it easy creating a new Battletech system, or did the system go through many rewrites and edits?

Herb: This is a “yeas and no” kind of answer here. When I started on the core rules, I had a clear goal in mind: Make the newest RPG edition compatible with the tabletop war game, while simultaneously retaining the organic, “anything goes” feel of the Third Edition MechWarrior game. At first it seemed like quite a challenge, but we quickly realized that many of the mechanics that would work already existed in prior editions and could be adapted to a new, amalgamated game. The result was an RP system that actually fuses aspects of all previous editions of the MechWarrior RPG, while simultaneously making it mesh better with the tabletop game.

As to rewrites and edits, oh, there were many, but still far less than I expected, and the “beta” cycle really helped us hone the parts that were initially published broken.

Liz: FASA is somewhat notorious for creating complicated systems. Was it difficult to create the Game Mechanics used in Time of War?

Herb: Again, “yes and no” applies here. “Yes” because I wanted a system that played smoothly and gave the excitement of real role-playing, while still fitting with the other core books aimed at tabletop play, and “No” because the preceding editions actually gave a solid foundation to work from. The trick was keeping the best of the old rules, sorting out parts that could be dumped as redundant or needlessly complex, and reassembling it into a cohesive whole that worked.

Liz: What are you most proud of with the Time of War RPG and what do you think could be improved?

Herb: Hmmm. I always have trouble with this kind of question. I consider the overall streamlining compared to Third Edition MechWarrior to be one of the better triumphs, eliminating a lot of extra rolling and conversion tables in every aspect from character design through personal combat. If there’s anything I can think of improving in the core book, it would be minor elements throughout, to improve its overall look and flow. Anything we’d want to add would, after all, be good material for supplements.

Liz: Time of War incorporates both the wargame and a traditional RPG setting. What were some of the challenges you found in marrying the two styles of gameplay?

Herb: The biggest, naturally, was the 2D6-based bell-curve resolution system. In the latest, longest-running BattleTech-based RPG, we had moved the game to a 2D10 bell-curve mechanic for action resolutions, mainly to get a broader range of outcomes. This created a disconnect if players went from RP-scale actions to wargame actions—a particularly likely event, given the setting. That very mechanic also meant every item introduced into the universe effectively required two sets of rules to cover the unique differences in how this one core rules element changed gameplay. (For a perfect example, the chemical enhancements in Combat Equipment—FanPro #35017—really broke down between RP and tactical play, in some cases to nearly opposite in game effects based on the system you played.)

Yet at the same time, we liked the range of Skill and Attribute levels that came with the 2D10 system. In the end, I settled on a hybrid, retaining character Attributes and Skills on a 0-10 scale, while using a 2D6 so that all actions in tactical (war game) and role-playing games could draw from the same modifiers and work in the same basic fashion. The only difference is how AToW describes these rules versus those of the war game. Where Total Warfare, Tactical Operations, and Strategic Operations discuss rolling against modified target numbers, A Time of War was aimed at the role-playing audience, and so target numbers were fixed and dice results were modified. Mathematically, the results are so identical that players from either genre can easily make the transition.

Liz: One of the aspects I liked about third edition were the "life modules" and you could roll to see specifics, like being on a sports team in High School. Could you talk a little about the life modules and the decision to eliminate that piece of content?

Herb: The Life Modules were perhaps the one element from MechWarrior Third Edition I was most conflicted about. When we designed MW3, I loved the Life Paths and their random event tables; to me it was like creating the character could almost be seen as playing a the game while building character, but as supplements came out, and we shifted from 2D6 event tables to 2D10 event tables, these added ever more specific and ever more imbalanced random tables, it became clear that we had taken the system far beyond its extremes. Furthermore, a number of players through the years had complained about the randomness resulting in warriors with missing limbs and serious psych issues.

But the real clincher came down to page count. In the Third Edition system, each Life Path would consume half a page to a full page of text. By the time we reached A Time of War, we had enough Life Paths to fill about 100 pages that way. Even though I initially considered merging “redundant” Life Paths and rebalancing their event tables, I ultimately decided on the more simplified approach of eliminating the random tables entirely, ultimately giving more direct control to the player.

Liz: Character Creation remains Time of War's most complicated facets. How did the team decide on making a system that used 5,000 points for a character build?

Herb: A largely unsung hero in the creation of my game mechanics was Paul Sjardijn here. Tasked with some of the secondary rules I mentioned before, he and I found ourselves chatting over the phone almost daily about rules and their effects. I got some of my best inspirations from these conversations, such as a desire to actually leave more of the adjudication to the game master than the rulebook. Paul was also my main “numbers” guy; testing the figures I would guesstimate for base values like the 5,000 character points.

In the end, 5,000 became a very key number for character creation. When we worked that out, a lot of the ambiguity Paul and I were having about the costs of Skills, Attributes, and Traits fell away, and the inspiration came to us that this would also help make the Life Modules work. Put more simply, we chose 5,000 as nice easy-to-remember number, which would be our baseline for building a fresh-from-training MechWarrior (the BattleTech equivalent of a Level 1 Fighter in D&D, you could say). Knowing that, we could then work backwards to try and ensure that characters built using the same number of experience points could be made using the organic Life Modules or the Points-Only optional system we also provided.

This is an important note here, by the way: We provided not one but two character design systems in the core book, to facilitate different gameplay styles. Players unfamiliar with the universe or interested in a more “organic” feel, complete with basic backstory, could use the Life Modules to get the flavor of the setting, while more experienced players—or gamemasters strapped for time—could build more role-optimized characters using the Points-Only system, where you are simply given the XPs and told to go shopping.

Liz: Were there any memorable Game Mechanics that didn't make the final cut?

Herb: Oh, yes! In character creation alone, a massive number of Life Paths didn’t transition into Life Modules because they were seen as too redundant and needlessly complicated. There also was an initial plan for full creature creation rules (rather than the shorthand version we finally presented), and the advanced cybernetics used by elite operatives, high-powered characters, and the likes of the Manei Domini, were all initially slated for the core rules, but dropped for space and/or time reasons. Many may never be seen again. Many others are simply awaiting their proper supplement.

Liz: Was developing a singular storyline (The Blake Jihad) easy to accomplish with all the existing Battletech content?

Herb: Hahaha! Easy is not at all what comes to mind with our writing of the Jihad. As far back as the FASA days, we were gradually working our way toward the plot arc that would become the Jihad, and only FASA’s closing prevented us from unleashing it way back then. WizKids’ takeover of the property added some new details to the Jihad plan, which then took us years under FanPro to develop further in anticipation of a green light from the folks at WizKids. The Jihad unfolded as a kind of bizarre mix of planned events and unscripted chaos, with many writers involved, given enough reign to communicate the complex nature of a war where even the nastiest of villains has various and conflicting motives.

Liz: How did the Time of War developers manage to keep all the Battletech Content straight and what did that process look like?

Herb: Well, given that many of us have been around since the days of FASA, and thus have accumulated stores of book copies to draw from both physically and electronically, backed up by a volunteer group of roughly 80 to 100 active playtesters and fact-checkers, keeping content straight was largely as simple as communicating with each other via email workgroups and requesting information or simply diving in and writing, then having a team of checkers tell us what we got wrong.

Liz: Do the Game Developers and Battletech writers ever mingle or work with one another?

Herb: Oh, definitely. For the most part, we see ourselves as friends as much as colleagues. A number of the core Catalyst staff live in close enough proximity to one another to visit for holidays and weekly discussions, and I’ve both visited and been visited by several of my writers. All things considered, despite the miles of separation, we can be a pretty tight community.

Liz: Who has creative control on the Battletech Universe storylines?

Herb: Technically, as Line Developer for the sourcebooks, that duty falls ultimately on me, but as I answer to a couple bosses at Catalyst and we in turn answer to Topps Company as the owners of the BattleTech intellectual property, any decisions made are tempered ones. BattleTech has a long and rich history, so we like to think of it more as a shared sandbox.

Liz: Does Catalyst plan to focus on the Pen and Paper aspects of Battletech, or is it thinking of moving the franchise to other markets like videogames?

Herb: Catalyst actually does not have electronic rights to BattleTech, that is being licensed out from Microsoft these days, I believe. We have, of course, recently seen the introduction of Piranha Games’ MechWarrior Online and Smith & Tinker’s MechWarrior Tactical Command, both officially licensed electronic forms of BattleTech coming soon.

Liz: Will there be a Time of War: Second Edition in the near future?

Herb: Oh, I imagine there will be. The nature of the industry is that games tend to reinvent themselves every few years, though we prefer to keep things as stable as possible (as we managed with the core game line for over 25 years now). For now, though, we’re working on a supplemental for A Time of War.

Liz: Will Catalyst expand the game system to include books and settings from the Dark Ages?

Herb: Yup!

Liz: Do you have a favorite faction in the Battletech universe? If so, why?

Herb: House Steiner. It speaks to my German ancestry, often claims a moral high ground (in all of the various wars, House Steiner rarely acted first unless it was a pre-emptive strike against a hostile build-up they knew was coming for them), and is still so completely and delightfully imperfect that you know they’ll never really dominate everyone. I’m not really a big fan of factions that can do no wrong.

Liz: If I was interested in working on the Battletech Development Team, how would I go about accomplishing this goal?

Herb: These days, I have to admit that my stable of sourcebook writers is pretty full, to the point where I have some who often have nothing to do for me. Playtesting and fact-checking are fairly open, but I have come to demand a more controlled and formalized review team than we used to have (some past products, I felt, suffered from runaway debates that left some rules and features very well polished and others rough as gravel roads). So, these days, it’s a matter of having someone already in the circle, who’s opinions I trust, convince me to take someone else on board.

That is not meant to sound like it’s an exclusive club, mind you, but merely a matter of my having so much talent available that it’s become a challenge to manage and hone it. There’s always the chance that a random solicitation will make it through, but it’s always dangerous in this line of work to take any ideas off the street. Thus, a recommendation made to me by someone I’ve already worked with tends to carry more weight for a prospective new writer.

Liz: I'm a writer who's interested in writing Battletech Content either as an independent author, or for the RPG. How could I work with Catalyst to make this happen?

Herb: Firstly, virtually all of our contributors are volunteers or freelancers. Catalyst is a very small company, despite having people all over the country, and our payroll budget is likewise small. But despite what I said above regarding the process of getting in, there is a way, and that’s BattleCorps. The BattleCorps website is where we publish short fiction and other content for BattleTech, and is open to proposals from new talent. If a story is good, can fit into the canon, and can survive the team of fact-checkers Jason has handy there, the writer can make a sale and start earning some cred. What’s more, Jason Schmetzer, the site’s Editor-in-Chief, is practically begging me for stories, and a good enough quality writer there can get noticed on the sourcebook line.

Top 11 Funniest Moments in Batman: The Animated Series

2011-12-04T19:34:00.002-06:00

For the first 28 episodes that is. Content like these will be more common while I'm moving.

BattleTech: Second Edition Commentary

2011-12-01T14:36:00.000-06:00

It's here!

Lewis and I have parted ways

2011-11-29T21:29:00.000-06:00

Greetings all.

In order to prevent the rumor mill from working overtime, I'd like to let the fans know that Lewis and I have decided to part ways romantically speaking. While ending romantic relationships are in no way easy, Lewis and I have been able to make this split relatively amiably and without any venom that tends to follow when relationships end poorly. Both Lewis and I agree that we will still be friends in this aftermath, and neither of us holds any ill will to the other.

Apart from that, I plan on keeping any other details private. Unfortunately, both of our professions expose us to the public eye to some extent, but as friends and fans of our respective shows we would ask that our decision for privacy on the matter be respected. Regardless of my romantic status, Lewis is still a valued colleague of mine whose work and contributions I am endlessly thankful for.

Once more, I couldn't do what I do if not for the gracious friends and supporters my show has.

I sincerely thank you for your collective support!

Iron Liz

Mechwarrior: The BattleTech RPG Second Edition

2011-11-16T21:16:00.002-06:00

The second video in my four part series on BattleTech's RPGs.

Vlog: Found Footage Movies: REC and REC 2

2011-11-05T23:36:00.000-05:00

The inspiration for the movie "Quarantine." So how do the originals hold up?

Here's my review of REC

Here's my review of REC 2

Vlog: Found Footage Movies: Troll Hunter and Home Movie

2011-11-04T23:49:00.000-05:00

Both these movies are quite good...

The first vid is for Troll Hunter

The second vid describes Home Movie

Vlog: Found Footage Movies: The Last Exorcism

2011-11-02T22:36:00.000-05:00

Hooboy do I have a lot to say about this one...

Vlog: Found Footage Movies: Grave Encounters and The Last Broadcast

2011-11-02T18:28:00.000-05:00

I've been on a found footage movie kick recently, and I watched these two movies...

The first vid is about why I find found footage movies appealing and also go into Grave Encounters

Vid two talks about The Last Broadcast

Mechwarrior: The BattleTech RPG First Edition

2011-10-23T17:55:00.002-05:00

The first in my series about big, stompy robots!

Ironclaw Commentary

2011-10-19T14:20:00.000-05:00

I actually have a lot to say about this episode, and it will only appear on my blog.

Ironclaw

2011-10-18T11:37:00.000-05:00

Iron Liz reviews Ironclaw, the anthropomorphic animal game...about furries.

Vlog: The Thing. (aka, I join the bandwagon)

2011-10-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

The remake of The Thing wasn't that great, and I'm not the only one who thinks so....

Audio Only. My camera was derping out.

Gaming in Action: Changling the Lost

2011-10-14T13:51:00.005-05:00

My artist Mike Bennett and I are co-GMing a Changling the Lost game. I run the first game of this group.

Also, 52 minutes or so in, you DO get to see a picture of Oakthorn Academy.

Gaming with Iron Liz Session 5

2011-10-13T14:25:00.003-05:00

Wherein two of our party get stoned...

Warhammer Fantasy with Iron Liz: The Goblin Showdown

2011-10-13T03:36:00.003-05:00

Where our intrepid party assaults the goblin caves

Part One

Part Two

Buck Rogers: War Against the Han

2011-10-13T03:35:00.002-05:00

Buck Rogers? More like, SUCK Rogers....

An Introduction to Iron Liz

2011-10-13T03:34:00.002-05:00

My formal introduction video to TGWTG

EverQuest

2011-10-13T03:33:00.002-05:00

The proto-MMO that made it's way to the tabletop...

The World of Darkness

2011-10-13T03:32:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite RPGs to date!

All Flesh Must Be Eaten

2011-10-13T03:31:00.000-05:00

My debut episode on TGWTG

You're Such a Card...Game: Mystery Date Game (Special)

2011-09-03T16:11:00.000-05:00

We tracked down a copy of the infamous Mystery Date Game...but is it really that bad?
Here's us playing it:

And here's my final verdict:

Warhammer Fantasy with Iron Liz (The Showdown)

2011-09-03T16:09:00.000-05:00

Where our fight to stop the killings continues against actual forces of Chaos...
Part One:

Part Two:

You're Such a Card...Game: Happy Days the Board Game (Special)

2011-08-18T17:16:00.000-05:00

We take a quick break from the card games to play a board game I paid 11 dollars for.

First is us playing it...

Second is a "Final Verdict" on the game itself in the style of my reviews...

Check out my new title card artist at bunnyperspective.com

Warhammer Fantasy with Iron Liz

2011-08-16T09:50:00.003-05:00

In my greater quest to expose people to the various RPGs out there, I play First Edition Warhammer Fantasy with my good friend Kari.

The 3 hour session is broken up into three pieces because Blip is picky. It's only audio and it might be wonky in a few places due to our guerrilla style recording.

Enjoy!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Gaming with Iron Liz Session 4

2011-08-08T19:00:00.000-05:00

Our fourth session as the gang attempts to flee Genara and make their way north to Triloa.

And here it is!

Gaming with Iron Liz Session 3

2011-08-06T17:54:00.002-05:00

The gang plays some more AD&D. Please note that this is audio only.

Part One

Part Two

Adventures in Janitorial Land: Douchey Advertisements

2011-08-06T17:40:00.000-05:00

The first video of my new content releases

Vlog: Adventures in Janitorial Land

2011-06-28T10:34:00.002-05:00

Fun things you notice while pushing a dust mop!

D&D with Iron Liz and Co.

2011-06-24T17:13:00.003-05:00

Awhile back, Spoony suggested we start up a Second Edition (or AD&D) RPG game...
Here's the plot so far:

The PCs were all on a ship that was waylaid by pirates and blown off course into the coastal city of Genara. Upon entering the city, they were speaking with the Harbormaster and witnessed a suicide as a man jumped off of a loading crane.

This sparked off an informal investigation, where it was realized that monsters known as "Feyrs" were appearing in the city and for some reason and upon greater investigation, it appears as though this problem has been going on for 6 months; beginning almost around the same time the King's Heir was assassinated. The Kingdom has assembled a group of Magi to investigate the crime, but have so far come up with nothing.

An ancillary spellcaster has hired the PCs to investigate the now sealed Mages Guild to see if they can find any answers. The PCs have taken to the sewers, since the feyrs also appear as though they're hiding there.

Visit the game's wiki for more info at:

http://theadventure.wikia.com/wiki/The_Adventure_Wiki

Vlog: Update

2011-06-11T11:10:00.003-05:00

Here's what's been going down...

Oh yeah, we're going to play this!!

2011-06-05T12:02:00.002-05:00

You better believe we're going to play this tonight!!

We we be ready in time for our dates!? I know I can't wait to see!

YSACG: ET the Playable Card Game

2011-05-29T00:28:00.002-05:00

You asked for it, and now it's here!

Card Dregs: Garbage Pail Kids

2011-05-10T21:09:00.001-05:00

Oh yeah...they brought the Garbage Pail Kids back...
And guess how good they are?

This was just uploaded, so it might still be converting.

Card Dregs: Episode One

2011-05-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

Where I look up the strangest, crappiest, and just plain odd cards out there...
Let's see what's on the docket today...

Special: "Fireman's Carry" Narration

2011-05-05T15:00:00.004-05:00

A fan requested I read a short story he wrote, believing my voice to be perfect for the narration

In this special, listen to Trever Bennett's "Fireman's Carry" as read by Iron Liz

Vlog: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

2011-05-02T22:56:00.000-05:00

Are you a bronie? I guess I am now....

Note too, that I don't own this show or anything, legal stuff, yep yep...

...there's a World of Warcraft card game!? Oh yeah... (YSACG: WoW)

2011-05-01T01:24:00.001-05:00

Lewis and I bust out the fan donated cards to play a game based on an MMO which is based off a video game!

Part One is where we open the cards

Part Two (First half of the Match)

Part Three (Second half of the Match)

Note too: If the vids don't work, give them a few minutes to convert. I posted this just as I finished uploading the last one.

Vlog: Lady Gaga Rebuttal

2011-04-11T17:59:00.000-05:00

Listen to Liz talk about why Linkara overreacted to the Lady Gaga comic

Here we go!

Vlog: Warhammer Battle March

2011-04-09T03:09:00.000-05:00

Feeling the blues, so doing a video game review!

Bambalam!!

You're Such a Card...Game: World's Greatest Villain

2011-03-31T21:43:00.000-05:00

Check out the latest YSACG that features our first independently made card game! Also, Dr. Insano and Dr. Linksano go head to head in Match Two

Match One Part One

Match One Part Two

Match Two

You're Such a Card...Game: Inuyasha the Card Game

2011-03-22T19:46:00.000-05:00

This one was.... interesting....
Once more we got a fan donation of a bunch of cards!

The first video is the unopening of everything we got

Our first match was split into two pieces. Here's the first part:

First Match: Part Two

And finally, our Second Match

Warhammer Fantasy RPG: The Dreaded 3rd Edition...

2011-03-14T21:34:00.003-05:00

Oh god....

This review is in two parts to fully analyze the amount of garbage in this edition.

Part One

Part Two

Warhammer Fantasy RPG: Part Three, Second Edition

2011-02-28T03:06:00.002-06:00

The last installment is here...say, whatever happened to Judas Liz?

Where is she now I wonder?

The Descent into Hilarious

2011-02-15T06:13:00.003-06:00

Obscurus Lupa's stream yielded some damn hilarious content... No seriously, check these out!

The main feature this evening was the horror show of Gooby. Yes...GOOBY! What is the horror of this gummy candy sounding name? Try John Reese Davies in a bear suit with Eugene Levy as a mean teacher:

So here's the horror show:

...OH SWEET CHRISTMAS!!!!

Gooby sees you... Gooby sees everything...

Yes, this EXISTS!!!

Pedo-bear has a movie! With freakin' Gimli as the voice actor!!!

.....Gooby lives behind the shed. Gooby sees inside your HEAD!!!

Want to witness the horror of the movie trailer? Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wZgkedUK80

Ok, this next one involves The Wiggles. Yeah, THOSE Wiggles.

Ok, granted I don't know much about these guys and I'm sure they're probably very nice and kid friendly, but I dunno... Something about them always made me suspicious. Possibly due to their lame turtlenecks or something. No sooner had we gotten over the madness of Gooby did Lupa link the famous video of Hot Potato:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBWQCHb95rg&feature=related

This video is already pretty goofy with the singing about a hot potato and the goofy arm waving, but then you see it and you're not entirely certain if they're being serious.

Ok, maybe this is a dumb question, but WHY IS THERE A PIRATE!?!? I can't get over this! There's a pirate holding a kinky tickling feather just randomly appearing in this song! Why when I immediately saw that guy did I think this:

This guy opened a level of kink I didn't even know existed!!!

Thanks weirdly placed kinky pirate guy! I'll never forget how you randomly showed up in a Wiggles show. Also I think they were using helium.

Sweet criminey I could not stop laughing...

Ok, what the hell is it about the tooth fairy that makes people think it would be a good movie adaptation?

There's this one "Based on the Novel," there's that shitty horror movie they made in the early 2000's, but never did I expect to see THIS:

Looks harmless enough until you realize that the rabbit is for realz...

This looks like your typical ADD saccharine romp with obnoxious children...until you see the rabbit. Yes, they're serious. This rabbit suit is what they used for their movie. The same rabbit suit you could rent from a joke shop for less than 100 dollars for an awkward afternoon at a children's birthday party.

It's about as convincing as THIS:

HUUUH...HUUUH....HUUUUUUUHHHHH!!!! (to quote RiffTrax)

Just watch the trailer and see what I mean:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBc6f3bGekI

By the by, I SWEAR that girl is that same actress who played that helium voice girl from Lost in Space....

Ok, maybe you won't find these few clips as funny as we did (I mean, we were all rather sleep deprived), but sometimes a pedo-bear, a kinky pirate, and cheap rabbit suit are all you need to laugh the hardest you've done in months.

Ok, onto bed.

You're Such a Card...Game: Magic the Gathering Reboot Matches

2011-02-10T00:57:00.002-06:00

You demanded it!

Well, maybe not you DIRECTLY, but we've had some very positive responses with Magic the Gathering, so here's a few more to enjoy. I updated my deck and we got the rules down much better. So how does it go?

Match One

Match Two

Match Three

In case the third one doesn't work, use this link:
http://blip.tv/file/4746085

You're Such a Card...Game: Magic the Gathering

2011-02-06T20:26:00.000-06:00

One of our most heavily requested games to play! Will it be worth the wait?

Watch us open the packages our fans graciously donated with The Unveiling of the Magic Cards!

Match One

Match Two

Match Three

Warhammer Fantasy RPG: Part Two, First Edition

2011-02-06T00:58:00.002-06:00

After the long wait, the episode is here!!

...in all it's glory!

Vlog: Dungeons and Dragons and Orion Slave Girls...

2011-02-03T00:18:00.003-06:00

Here's something I haven't done in awhile!!

Vloggin'!

You're Such a Card...Game: Pokemon Revisited

2011-01-26T20:14:00.000-06:00

We've updated our decks!

And now it's time to d-d-d-d-DUEL....with Pokemon.... Again...

Match One

Match Two

You're Such a Card...Game: Unveiling the Biebs...and TNA!

2011-01-26T00:48:00.002-06:00

This one isn't a card game so much as unveiling some terrible trading cards!

Yeah, I look a little corpse-like due to lack of sleep >.<

You're Such a Card...Game: XXXenophile... Part One

2011-01-21T01:03:00.002-06:00

JewWario and Scarlettopia join me for a very special YSACG. WARNING: ADULT CONTENT

Bear in mind folks, these cards contain sexual images. Probably not safe for work, but oh we had fun!

Part One

Part Two

Vlog: The Drive and Back from MAGfest

2011-01-20T17:22:00.001-06:00

Well I'm back folks and I've got sleepy-eyed vlogging done!

The first video is me talking about why I decided to drive:

The second video describes my experiences with MAGfest.

Enjoy!! The Warhammer Fantasy RPG is still in the works. If you've been wondering what I've been doing with my time, check out Linkara's Power Rangers Zeo review:

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/linkara/at4w/29440-power-rangers-zeo-1

You're Such a Card...Game: Digimon the Card Game!

2011-01-08T12:21:00.000-06:00

Let's start the Digivolving!

Some of our most heated matches and wins from far behind! Check 'em out!

Match One

Match Two

Match Three

You're Such a Card...Game: Pokemon the Card Game

2010-12-23T19:24:00.001-06:00

A brand new You're Such a Card...Game! This time we tackle the wonders of Pokemon.

But first, an introduction to the cards!

Match One

Match Two and Three

The Warhammer Fantasy RPG: Part One, Introduction

2010-12-14T00:20:00.000-06:00

Let's make some sense of the war-game before we tackle the RPGs

Here's the Introduction! More to follow!

Sexy tattoo and sexy leg

2010-12-11T23:48:00.000-06:00

Because people asked me what my tattoo looked like:

It's on my right calf:

So many sexy things here: Tattoo, Leg, Sailor Moon Booster Packs and Mountain Dew!

Here's the tattoo up close. It's the Daeva Clan Symbol

Another pic of my leg. Also, that's my one and only birth mark on my instep.

That and my monkey toes.... >.<

One more shot of the calf.

The thing about tattoos is that they suck, but they kick ass. This one took about 2 or so hours. I've got a fairly decent pain tolerance (wink wink), but mine was about an 8.5 on the pain scale. The crazy thing....I kinda want more!

A Snowy day in Minnesota...

2010-12-11T15:39:00.000-06:00

You think you have it bad or you actually WANT this stuff?

Then take a look outside my window!

This is our balcony

This is DIRECTLY BELOW my window

Closer look

Check out the car on the right. Yeah, it's almost COMPLETELY BURIED.

And in case you're wondering, it's still snowing and will do so the entire day. Yesterday night they said it was going to be 6-12 inches of snow, but today it's looking like 9-16 inches. Either way, the wind is blowing, the snow is drifting, and it says that it's actually FOGGY out there on the official weather report.

Current Temperature: 21 degrees, feels like 6.

But some strange people love winter time...

Hilariously Terrible Art

2010-12-09T16:05:00.001-06:00

If you haven't seen this site before, then prepare to have a good laugh. Though I must warn you, the link is not safe for work.

I consider myself a terrible artist. While I was growing up (and before I got the towel snapping I so desperately deserved) there was a time I actually thought the "tortured artist" look was appealing. While I eventually realized that being avant guarde was at best highly annoying and at worse, downright insulting to those with real problems, I instead bloomed into a goth-girl/metal chick.

One of the reasons I never thought art was a viable option for me was that I couldn't draw. Even when I was deluded at that age, I still realized I didn't have the talent. I found this website thanks to FreyaMau sending me the link, and I've been laughing my ass off ever since. A good portion of the artwork here is done by younger artists or those who also want to "kawai-a-tise" people like professional wrestlers, hitler-Sailor Moon, or some of the more obscure and less common fetishes.

I will add this disclaimer:

I am not making fun of these artists!

So don't jump to that conclusion. This site CAN be used as a platform to compare your artistic talents and use them as a method of improving yourself, provide the artist with a comparison against the mainstream, or use it for pure shock value in getting your work out there. I personally find it hilarious and shocking to see a hitler-Sailor Moon drawing, and if that's your intent, then congrats.

A lot of this art is just so bad or basic that it's amusing, and in that regard it's more of a "well, keep trying"chuckle your friends would tell you if you showed it to them.
I won't chastise peoples' fetishes or sexual preferences, but considering how things like incest, rape, or child molestation have actual psychological and emotional consequences, I reserve the right to find these topics disturbing and subject to derision.

So if you've got a problem with this, tell it to the site, not me. I realize this site is a part of the internet, so I'm putting myself out there as much as anyone else.

But enough CYA, here's the link:

http://fuckyeahterribleart.tumblr.com/page/1

AGAIN, this is not safe for work and contains adult themes!!!

I laughed at this picture until it hurt to breathe...

You're Such a Card...Game: Yu-Gi-Oh Revisited

2010-12-08T21:26:00.000-06:00

So we updated our decks, took the viewers' advice and pulled out all the stops!
Listen to the terrible jokes and overacting in these three matches!!!

Match #1

Match #2

Match #3

Episode 6: Big Eyes Small Mouth (and modules!)

2010-12-04T16:42:00.000-06:00

Is the Big Eyes Small Mouth RPG kawai or is it....um....bad?

Click this episode that's chock fulla references!

You're Such a Card...Game: Sailor Moon Card Game

2010-12-01T17:06:00.001-06:00

Lewis and I bust out the Sailor Moon Card Game! Who will win the epic battle of Sailor Scouts?

Let's find out!!!

Match One

Match Two

Match Three

Vlog: Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-26T06:12:00.001-06:00

A Thanksgiving Greeting in a smexy red dress!

Check it out!

http://blip.tv/file/4432716

Vlog: Daisho Con, Art, TV and Future Plans

2010-11-24T13:57:00.001-06:00

So how did Daisho Con go?

Not bad, actually!! Even if I did have to record it while being very tired...

http://blip.tv/file/4426090

Vlog: Liz n' Linkara play some Yu-Gi-Oh!!

2010-11-17T20:39:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah, it's time to play Yu-Gi-Oh!!

First, a Vlog where we open cards!

And now, it's TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!

Match 1!

Match 2!

Match 3!

I are KITTY!!

2010-10-31T19:56:00.000-05:00

Several of the Treehousians convinced me to get some kitty ears...

So I guess for Halloween....I are KITTY!!!

The ears even came with a cute little bell! :D

Happy Halloween!!

A Scary Halloween Image!

2010-10-31T17:16:00.002-05:00

Happy Halloween!

http://blip.tv/file/4320189

Vlog: Anime RPGs and Sunglasses

2010-10-27T20:27:00.002-05:00

Find out what's new for the PnPC

http://blip.tv/file/4304748

The Star Wars Roleplaying Game: Part Three

2010-10-22T19:47:00.002-05:00

Is here!!!
It still needs some polish and I've fixed most of the bugs. I'll release a more polished version in a few days, but here's the review!

All of my thoughts on the RPG were completed in Part 2, so this is more of an analysis on the Prequels and how their content affected the RPG, the source material, and how it affected the fanbase at large.

http://blip.tv/file/4283437

Enjoy!!!

Quitting: The Ugly Underbelly of Shacks and Gentry

2010-10-07T20:33:00.000-05:00

So I finally quit my shitty job...

See you in HELL, Nook!!!

But not without some rather disturbing bits of information. I made mention of some rather disturbing pieces of information in JewWario's LiveStream about a week ago, but that was only part of it. Let me explain just what's going on the inside of Shacks and Gentry.

Here's the thing:

People are reading fewer books.

I'm not trying to imply it's all Sarah Palin's fault (heaven knows she wants people to buy HER book), but the statistics are pretty frightening. Inside my former break room is a news article that says approximately 70% of adults haven't been in a bookstore in the past five years, approximately 1/3 of college graduates will not read another book outside of college and 1/2 of high school graduates won't read a book outside high school. Couple that and the explosive growth of electronic books "E-Books" and you have traditional bookstores losing money. This change has caused the company to start faltering very badly:

LOL Falling Stock Price!

The supposed answer to the traditional bookstores' problems is the electronic e-reader. Perhaps you've heard of the "Kindle" or the "Nook?" Well, e-books have been up nearly 200% in sales since last year and are a rapidly growing market. So logically, bookstores wish to move in that direction, right? Well, not necessarily. The internal struggles Shacks and Gentry is experiencing are caused by investors fighting against the Board of Directors in which direction to take the company. But one thing they CAN agree on is that the workers "should" be doing more; more than the high expectations already in place.

Shacks and Gentry has a member card, and your sales of them is being tracked.

It is expected that you average approximately 1.25% for selling new member cards and approximately 4.25% for membership renewals. This number is determined from your sales of the card out of all the customers you ring up. While you are attempting to sell or renew a member card, you must request the customer's e-mail for the e-mail recapture. Finally, you are expected to do this quickly and mention any other promotions (like gift cards or the annual book drive). A friend of mine who was a Head Cashier needed to meet his numbers to avoid being fired, so he purchased a member card and used it to get the "pool" of total customers to shrink into members so his percents would stay higher. Unfortunately, they found out about that and fired him anyway.

If you work in the cafe, you must upsell (since there is a target "ticket" price and failure to meet that will result in termination). If you work at the E-Reader Stand, the stand must sell approximately 7 a day or there will be consequences. But everyone, Customer Services, Cafe, Nook Stand or Cashier must follow these new guidelines.

My last day of work was the day they implemented this new policy:

"E-reader sellers must engage the customers: are e-reader sellers greeting and engaging with customers inside and outside the e-reader boutique? Or, are they just standing around collecting dust?"

"E-Reader Announcements: E-Reader sellers are responsible for e-reader announcements, customer services should be backing them up. Announcements must be made EVERY hour."

"Cashiers, Cafe, and Music sellers actively engaging customers in e-reader conversations. It is everyone's responsibility to engage customers in e-reader conversations."

"Bookseller Involvement: Are all booksellers talking about the e-reader with EVERY customer? Are they finding ways to integrate e-reader (and digital media) into ALL customer interactions?"

You also can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat.

I was informed on my last day that failure to make an hourly announcement, mention the e-reader in a customer interaction, or conversation, you would be verbally warned. The second time it happened, you would be written up, and two write ups and you would be fired. So if you work the cashier spot and forget for four times, you are fired. They can get away with this because there is a stack of ready applicants desiring to work at the bookstore.

This image best sums up the corporate policy.

Essentially you have a wide pool of workers, all paid minimum wage (or slightly better) who are given the illusion of advancement as time progresses in the form of raises and promotions. Unfortunately, what they don't tell you is that there are wage ceilings and you can only apply for health after a year as a part-time worker (and you WILL be a part-time worker) and only if you average 20 hours a week. They'll cut your hours as the dry spells come in, and unless you worked 40 hours a week for several months during the busiest time of the year, you won't be able to get their health care.

One of our employees left on maternity leave and since the company was cutting hours, they wanted to eliminate her position (since they paid her more). At the end of her maternity leave, they informed her they would force her to quit or she will transfer to another store. She moved stores in order to save her job. You hear stories like this all over the place. I feared bringing a doctor's note saying for my medication adjustments I shouldn't work the E-Reader stand for approximately six weeks. I feared that if I showed this note, they could possibly fire me. Since the store is almost always over budgeted for the paltry sum corporate allots them, firing me would benefit them in the long run since there would be one less mouth to feed as it were.

Here's the thing:

I have nothing against removing inefficiency if doing so will help out the greater good.

What I DO have a problem with is that the company's policy of creating and reinforcing a hostile work environment.

Instead of examining inefficiency and financial problems by reviewing the performance of individual stores, reducing inventory to more profit heavy products (like the new toys and games department) and relying more on the website for book sales, the company has decided to take its problems out on the workers. While they have shrunk inventory and focused more on toys and games, they need to have fewer stores that offer more instead of a blanket of mediocre stores that don't all have toys and games, used books, or other such products. Emphasizing this in some stores, but not in others doesn't fix the problem. Honest grievances can't be brought up for fear of losing your job, while the fruits of your labor almost ALWAYS fall into another's hands. I myself have sold approximately 40,000 dollars worth of E-Reader merchandise, and of that, I haven't seen a cent go my way. I've known Member Card salespeople sell 1,000+ cards in a year and not even receive a paper certificate. Encouraging sales through positive incentives like a commission or monthly rewards like 25 dollar gift card, goes a MUCH farther way than coercive and hostile measures.

Were I in charge of this company, I would make some difficult decisions.

If it meant that we kept an energized workforce who actually WANTED to sell more and have higher performance, I would close down under-performing stores and use a sliver of that money to encourage the existing stores. I'd encourage the employees to find ways to make things work more smoothly, because chances are, they have a better idea than the top on what's REALLY going on. The reality is that these E-Reader devices offer even smaller margins of profit, are capital intensive to research, and improve in quality in mere months. In short, they are a BUBBLE! The economic profits will eventually level off and stabilize. Physical books aren't going anywhere, but their share in reading material are shrinking, so why not act accordingly? E-books have their place in sales, but they aren't the magic bullet and they aren't the be-all-end-all wave of the future.

I'll admit that I wasn't a stellar employee at certain times, but this is just plain ugly. Quitting this company was honestly one of the best decisions I've made in my entire life. Having panic attacks, working myself to the bone, and spending my off days dreading going to work are things I won't miss.

My mental and emotional health aren't worth 7.50 an hour.

Visiting the Family...and Bratz Vampires

2010-09-25T15:45:00.000-05:00

Hello from the vast cultural wasteland known as Wisconsin (as Bill McNeal would say!)

Well folks, I'm temporarily moored in the Northwoods of Wisconsin visiting my family for the weekend, so sadly, my reviews will have to wait. Lewis and I have a lot of filming to get done for when I get back, and if Spoony is willing, he'll let me come in late for D&D on Sunday. The Halloween special for AT4W should prove to be rather fun to shoot though. After having some rather enjoyable chats with JewWario and Scarlettopia, I may start gracing JewWario's streaming on Wednesdays and Fridays ;)

Anyway, one of the main reasons for heading up to the Northwoods (apart from visiting the family), is actually a small clothing boutique. I made mention of it earlier in my Vlog, but the little shop has a lot of fun things to look at that appear a lot less mass produced. It's here that I picked up some more fun things and a red dress this time. Perchance in the near future, I'll have to wear it to spark some more erotic TGWTG fanfiction (SQUEEE!!!). I recently found that and had more fun than I should in reading what people wrote.

But I digress. After we went back from the clothing boutique, we stopped by at the Walmart (since it's the only large store in the area), to pick up some last things we needed for tonight's dinner. Me? I needed a 5 hour energy shot, since thanks to living with my smexy Lewis, I usually fall asleep somewhere in the 2-2:30am range. My mom and I left on the 4.5 hour drive at approximately 8am. Ugh. Anyway, I had to cut through the toy area to grab something (honestly I forgot what it was because I was so shocked) and was met by..... THIS!!!

Oh my god, I want to DIE just looking at it!!!

Yes, that's right ladies and gentlenerds, the slutty "Bratz" dolls have extended their abnormal proportions to the undead.

Anyone else remember when vampires used to look like this?

THIS is a vampire! Nosferatu was not supposed to invoke feelings of lust, but primal FEAR. He was a monster for heaven's sake! This is what a vampire would probably look like after centuries of feeding on only blood. His fingers are claw-like and withered, his features angular and sunken, and he looks pale and menacing. THIS is a vampire.

NOT this....

The doll's name is "Draculaura" by the way...

I know I'm beating a dead horse here, but seriously! This kind of crap needs to stop. One of the reasons I like the Vampire: The Masquerade and Vampire: The Requiem series is because they capture the stagnation of the vampire idea. If you live for centuries, your view of the world is probably centuries out of date, you're surrounded by buildings/cars/technology/etc that you probably don't understand, your frame of time is one long night, and above all else, it's lonely. Not in the teenage "I wish I had a date" lonely, but lonely in the sense that being dead weakens the emotions so you can't feel attachment, the people you meet are probably shallow and looking for a thrill, and that others like you could be even more debauched than you are. Imagine what it would feel like needing to steal each night just to survive. How long would it take before you started feeling like a sexual predator by seduction, a thief by stealing, or a nightmare from scaring people to get what you need?

Vampires to me are more parables for addiction and stagnation much more than they are for THIS!!!

As Spoony made mention of in one of his Vlogs, we're going to look back at this in one of those "Remember the 2000's" type shows, and this whole vampire romance thing is going to seem really, REALLY stupid. Believe me when I say I understand the whole erogenous zone on the neck thing, but one would think that explicit "Others" romance wouldn't be marketed towards children. I'll buy the viewing the vampire as a sex object, but then there's shit like this that combines the worst aspects of explotative selling (stick-figure women and vampire fad) and attempts to sell it to CHILDREN!!

They say truth is the first casualty of war, but I say shame is the first casualty of a fad.

"Others" smut in the Romance Section

2010-09-19T13:25:00.000-05:00

So they put me at the back register last night and had me shelve the Romance section.

Oh and what fun things I found. You know what I realized? The "Twilight" fad got a lot of people (women especially) in the idea of vampire romance. But that sort of lady-smut is nothing new AT ALL!! As a matter of fact, vampires don't hold the monopoly on Romance readers. You'd be absolutely AMAZED at the sort of romance books that feature otherworldly creatures such as werewolves, demons, water-spirits, and even gargoyles! Hence, the "Others" romance. It's especially interesting to me for some reason, because with the amount of derision the "anthro/furry" crowd gets, it seems as though these sort of books are spared the collective outrage. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to chide or judge any one's sexual preferences (assuming everything is safe, sane and consensual), but somewhere down the line someone looked at this:

And thought, "I want to wrap my legs around that!"

Ok, to be fair, these "Others" romance books still follow the typical Romance Novel formula of a dark, mysterious, handsome and somewhat troubled man comes across a comely woman the reader is meant to project themselves into. Their resulting seduction and fornication is meant to inspire similar feelings in the reader, and these "Other" books do the exact same thing. I just find it amusing that they're so damn prolific in the amount of them to what seems almost like a niche market. It's interesting too because the above werewolf is one of the more common supernatural creatures that ends up getting horizontal with our female protagonists.

I wrote down some of the more entertaining examples of these "Others" Romance between shelving books and ringing people up. Hopefully you'll enjoy them as much as I have.

Ok, this one's a vampire romance novel. Like MANY others, this one has someone who is featured to hunt vampires thrown into the mix. Ugh, stupid stereotype now, but the title I thought was funny.

Here's a werewolf example. Gotta love the tagline on this one too.

A friend of mine told me this one is actually pretty good, but this is a Succubus related one that links itself to the "Fae/Fairy" topic too.

We have sex with demons, so why not sex with angels? Again a "Hunter" is involved.

Ok, in all fairness "satyr" romance makes a little bit of sense just because it involves their mythology a bit, but even still. They were largely drunken fornicators who perpetually harassed nymphs and other women to have sex with them. At least they're painted somewhat differently in this one...

Another one by Nalini Singh, but this one features "Psy-Changlings." Umm... I really don't know what that is.

UGH!! Fuck you Michele Bardsley! I wrote about how books by hers were destroying the vampire mystique in an earlier post, but little did I realize was that these books are ROMANCE books too! Oh yeah, why not have mundane supernatural creatures you can fuck. My brain just snapped a little....

"A Southern Witch novel!?!?" Uh... I got nothing.

Um...spider related romance? This is where they start to get a bit strange...

Oh, you better BELIEVE this is a romance story about one of Santa's Elves going down to Earth to teach a curmudgeon-y guy the meaning of Christmas by having sex with him! Ok, I try not to judge, but that's just hilarious!!!

"Feline Breeds" series involving genetically changed people into cat/human hybrids.

This one looks pretty non-threatening on the cover, but it's actually about centaur romance. Huh....

And here's the gargoyle romance.

I could keep going, but suffice it to say that most mythological creatures have gone the route of scaring us and explaining the world to burying themselves between our thighs. I'm not really upset about it, but like I said, more amused. Keep in mind, I didn't really touch the fairy/fae romance. Again, their mythology originated from stealing children in the night to becoming nubile creatures who are really just after your naughty bits.

Maybe I should start an "Iron Liz" book report on all the strange books I come across. Heh, that would be fun!

In any event, check out Lord Kat's website tonight at 5:30 EST if you want to listen to the adventures of Lilea Aldethiir, Elven Cleric of Corellon with the other personalities of Channel Awesome.

Back to (Relative) Normalcy and the Berenstain Bears

2010-09-17T23:54:00.000-05:00

Hey all! I'm mostly moved in now, but my camera is still packed.

But since my camera is still packed, I'll have to bug Lewis for his and provide a virtual tour of the place! I do have some updates to give too for that matter! Hopefully by next Tuesday I'll have the Digimon Part 3 done and possibly even the last bit of Star Wars so we can close the book on that damn RPG (pun most certainly intended).

Lewis and I have been doing a lot of filming lately for some fun AT4W episodes in the future.... Oh, methinks they'll be taken well. I'm also going to get moving and get a few more videos put out there so I can introduce someone else into the "Lord Vyce" storyline. We've got some footage to film for Lewis' Halloween episode too, and yes, I will be wearing a costume of sorts in the video ;)

As for the employment situation, work still continues to antagonize me at an alarming rate, but the good news is that I've got another possible contact who can get me a rather great job with Peter Graves at the University of Minnesota. No seriously, it's with the U, which is awesome! I'll keep the 14 people still reading my blog up to date with others as they come (like how tomorrow morning at 9am we're getting our bed delivered), but I'm fairly settled in now and can get back to things again.

So onto the Berenstain Bears....

But now, onto the Berenstain Bears... So tonight at work I had the horrible misfortune of dealing with the Kid's Department. Our normal Kids' Lead was out for the evening, and was filled in with another worker who didn't know the area too well, so I found myself fielding a lot of the questions and finding books in that garish, brightly colored nightmare (ironically the "Teens" area is very dark due to the number of emo vampire books). Throughout the night, I found myself walking around the section and found myself in the "Kids Religion" spot and found a SLEW of religious themed Berenstain Bears books.

I always thought they were a bit preachy, but just check these out:

(Cue "The Gonk" music)

And so on and so forth...

Yep...there sure are a lot of 'em

Alright, that's enough....point made....

*Bangs on the computer to get it to stop*

Ok, going to need to get something really scary to get this to stop...

HA!!!

Ahahahaha!!! Let it burn into your nightmares!! (By the way, this is taken from an actual play).

But yeah, you get the idea! This list is by no means comprehensive, but each one was shown in our "Kid's Religion" section and no, I'm not kidding! I guess the series decided to take a swerve to the right (pun intended) and began to become more religious in nature, which in my opinion is too bad. The Berenstain Bears were some of my favorite books as a very young kid (along with Mercer Meyer's books "Little Critter"), and I even read a lot of the "Big Chapter Books" too for that matter. Most of the time they were pretty harmless and helped describe some life lessons along the way. It's just that things got really preachy and even a bit obnoxious. I stopped reading them right around the time they made this one:

Oh, and you better believe Papa Bear is a bit racist towards their new neighbors...even if they do look a bit cult-like in their purple and green matching clothing....and how the two youngest girls never stop holding hands (even when they eat!!).

Really, in the end, is there really any harm to these books? Well, not necessarily, although considering how I grew up with the books and enjoyed them a lot, it's sad to see them go the religious route. That sort of thing is a niche market when the books themselves were pretty mainstream. They had pretty good artwork for the most part, and even if it was hokey at the time, they did end up with a pretty extensive "universe." I even vaguely remember of an animated game for the Sega CD I believe... Maybe I'm wrong and it was something different, but it's been an epiphany of sorts and I can't help but notice it now. Heh, hopefully you will too now!!

Oh, but one last thing. If you'd like to hear more from me (including my gravelly voice), you can follow me, Spoony, Angry Joe, Lord Kat, and others as we play 4th edition Dungeons and Dragons every Sunday night at around 5:30 EST on Lord Kat's site.

I'm not dead!

2010-09-07T16:14:00.000-05:00

Hey folks! Moving is going decently enough, but we're still without internet...
I'm not on a hiatus or anything, but as of yet, we still don't have the Net with our new place. Apparently Comcast requires more than a week to send out a group of people to install it. On the plus side, I've got plenty of things to talk about via my blog, and a video or two to post once we get everything squared away. Hopefully by the end of the week (again, HOPEFULLY) we'll get this done.

Thanks to everyone for waiting! Hopefully Spoony will be up for D&D this Sunday when he returns from PAX, so I'll set a link through Twitter. You can listen to me roleplay a 4th edition Dungeons and Dragons Elven Cleric of Corellon (yeah, really original right >.<)

Take care folks!

Iron Liz

The History of Digimon: Season One, Part Two

2010-08-26T20:50:00.002-05:00

is here!

http://blip.tv/file/4051478

By the way folks, I may be on a short hiatus, but for the right reasons this time. My lease expires on the 31st at noon, so in the meantime, I'll be packing and moving my things!

Thanks for watching!

The History of Digimon: Season One, Part One

2010-08-22T14:42:00.003-05:00

Is POSTED!!!

http://blip.tv/file/4036551

Thanks everyone! Your kind words mean more than you'd think :)

I fixed the problems, but sometimes the footage will go from widescreen to full screen. I can't really change that without doing everything over again. Once it's finished rendering on blip, I'll repost the link.

Thanks for your patience guys!

Vlog: Digimon and X-Files

2010-08-21T23:16:00.000-05:00

Breaking the silence!

http://blip.tv/file/4031353
Thanks everyone!

New Vlog tomorrow...

2010-08-20T23:53:00.000-05:00

Hey folks.

I've been exceedingly quiet as of late because life's been stressful. I'll post another vlog tomorrow, but first I've got some other work to get done. The third installment of the Star Wars RPG review is going to be temporarily put on hold as I get ready to move. Fortunately though, I do have a surprise for you...

Vlog: Mazes, Monsters, and Crappy Weather

2010-08-02T00:49:00.002-05:00

This weather is killing me...

http://blip.tv/file/3954818
Please make that weather machine...

New Vlog is on the way...

2010-08-01T20:23:00.001-05:00

Been sort of quiet, but there's a lot o' stuff I want to rant about >.<

Jane Austen's Fight Club

2010-07-26T10:57:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine found this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2PM0om2El8

I dunno, I thought it was funny...

Too Much Rope

2010-07-25T16:55:00.006-05:00

I would certainly say the worst aspect about vacations is coming back >.<

Though I must admit, I've been pretty lucky these past few days. Instead of standing behind the e-reader counter, I'm at the front registers which is mildly better; although it does make you a little bored...

(My fingers are getting quite strong!)

One of my coworkers likes to break apart our old gift cards once they're used up, so we've been taking that to a much greater extreme. Yesterday we made a gift card mosaic. Believe it or not, you can actually break those pieces even smaller....

ANYWAY, I am incredibly fortunate that I've been working at the front instead of the e-reader stand, largely because the first day I came back I was reminded how much I hated working up there. Although I have learned a fundamental truth about people due to this e-reader:

*Give people too much rope and they'll hang themselves!*

(Too soon?)

You see, people don't know what they want.

They're not very bright, especially when they want to appear smart. I'm not saying YOU are stupid, but when people get in groups something weird happens...especially when they get distracted by a big stand of electronics at the front of the bookstore. The following is a list of questions I've been asked at the e-reader stand that are so damn stupid, I can't help but laugh at them.

Seriously, how do these people dress themselves!?

#1: Can I make the font go bigger and have the same number of lines on the page?

No, for you see that would be IMPOSSIBLE. This device isn't made by wizards! I guess basic common sense doesn't apply here either. When you make something larger, it takes up more space. Will the device grow in size to compensate for that size change? I think you're expecting a little too much out of it...

#2: I want it backlit, but don't want it to hurt my eyes

Again, this is IMPOSSIBLE. The thing about computer screens is that they are lit by the equivalent of a giant light bulb. The reason you get eye strain is that you are effectively staring at a lightbulb hours at a time. Most e-readers have "E-Ink" which resembles a book page and is easy to read. If you can't read it, buy a 15 dollar book light, but don't expect the impossible you dolt!

#3: Why won't the free internet go faster?

Our flavor of the e-reader has a nifty feature where if you go to a WiFi hotspot, you can access a free internet browser. It's in its Beta phase yet, but it's a free browser you can use to check your e-mail, update facebook, or read the news. Ever hear of the phrase, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!?" People seriously complain that the FREE service they're getting isn't good enough... Wow... Oh, and try explaining what "Beta" means to an irate old person who is somehow convinced that the device can play movies because an iPhone can (yes, I had this come up!)

#4: I want it backlit, but don't want it to glare in the sunlight

Again, this is IMPOSSIBLE. The reason something glares is because a backlit surface is competing with another light source like the sun. The glare is the result of those two light sources meeting (to put it in very simplistic terms). I don't understand why people want the backlight so badly. If you can't see something, get a book light for it! Do people read their laptops in bed or at the beach? Maybe, but I can almost guarantee you that old people don't!

#5: I want the member discount on the e-book prices

Most e-books (apart from the free ones), enjoy a discount of about 50% from their printed counterparts because the cost for publishing is much lower. The price of the e-book is largely determined by the publisher, and their margins are quite low. We can't provide any additional discounts because we would make no profit, and no, the discount card does entitle you to additional discounts off a product outside of our control. Is 50% not high enough for you? Just how big of a cheapskate are you!? If you can't afford to buy books, go to the library!!

#6: I want to read in the dark and not buy a booklight

So turn on a lamp or just spend an additional 15 dollars for a booklight. You've already spent at least 150. Again, if you can't afford the price, don't buy it, because your request is virtually impossible. Why not do what the Gorillaz did and get sunshine in a bag?

#7: I want a color screen and I want it cheap

One of the things I enjoy while reading are all the colorful pictures, so naturally I want them in color with my e-reader. Oh wait... Here's the thing. If you want color for some bizarre reason, right now you're going to have to pay for it. The 150 dollar device is in black and white to BEST RESEMBLE A BOOK PAGE!!! If you desire that color though, go to the Apple store and spend 500 bucks on an iPad, because that's the best screen you can get that's color; OR you could download the books on your phone and read them...

#8: I want newer releases to be free

So basically, you want people to write books that you can read and don't want to pay for. Good luck with that! Unfortunately, this idea is becoming more common from all the free books that are available from Shacks and Gentry. In fact, there's approximately 960,000 free books out there. But I guess that isn't enough for those who want something for nothing. American culture can really suck sometimes...

#9: I want you to fix/set up my e-reader for free

You buy a car from a dealership and don't expect them to fix it for free. You buy a computer from an electronics store and don't expect them to fix it for free. So why do you come to a bookstore with a book reader and expect us to fix it for free? I'm a bookseller, not a technician, so if I accidentally damage your device, it comes out of my pocket; and no, I'm not doing that for you. A help line exists, and if you don't want to call it to get it fixed, than that's your problem, not mine! Other venders of our product require a 30-40 dollar surcharge to set up the device, which is actually ridiculously EASY if you follow the online instructions...

#10: I bought this several months ago, but the price went down and I want a rebate.

Ever hear of the phrase "let the buyer beware?" Guess what!? Life's not fair! Sometimes that's just how things happen, and our company who is trying to make money is not your mommy who will give you a lolly and make everything better. Again, if you wanted a cheaper price, why didn't you wait until it was less expensive after a year or so? Oh, and no, I DON'T know when they'll drop the prices in the future, so don't ask me.

Well, that's all for now! I'm not entirely sure when I'll have the third review out. I'm a week behind what with going on vacation, but I'm doing my best!

Thanks for reading!

Vlog: Journey into the North Woods

2010-07-23T03:30:00.002-05:00

Now with 63% more bikini!

http://blip.tv/file/3917577

Enjoy!

I'm BACK!! (Vlog to follow)

2010-07-20T18:05:00.000-05:00

I've returned from my trip to the North Woods of Wisconsin. I'll post a new Vlog from the trip tomorrow after I sleep and return all my e-mails >.<

Guest Starring!

2010-07-17T12:19:00.000-05:00

I foist my opinions on the smallbutviscious podcast! :) Here's the link for their website!

http://www.d20radio.com/sbv/

Enjoy!

The Star Wars Roleplaying Game: Part Two

2010-07-16T20:29:00.002-05:00

Check it out! :)

http://blip.tv/file/3892425
Enjoy!

Vlog: Balls to the Malls

2010-07-13T18:30:00.001-05:00

Liz finally gets a day off.

I'm still working feverishly on the newest review! Enjoy this for now!

http://blip.tv/file/3877689

:)

Questionable Childrens' Toys

2010-07-12T23:19:00.000-05:00

More entertainment from Shacks and Gentry!

I had to work the closing shift tonight, and my task was to straighten the newly minted "Toys and Games" Department we just added to our store. I think I found myself more entertained because some of these toys were hilarious/scary/sad. I couldn't find one particular one, but I did find a similar one. Here are a few of the more memorable ones:

This picture isn't endearing, it's depressing! They even gave the poor kid an apron and visor. "Teach your kids about the tedium of retail! Contemplate your failures in life as you earn minimum wage! Unhealthily suppress your anger at obnoxious customers! Get drunk after work and make out with a coworker!" You know, teaching at its finest.

Oh sweet Christmas!! I took one look at this box and got on my defensive (the one with the long tongue is horrifying!). I suppose you COULD make your own sock puppet if you were deranged enough from an old sock and some magic markers, but this product isn't screwing around. Maybe this is a "daycare toy" but it's still inherently unsettling and causes some deep-seated fears to emerge, which I find troubling....

Create ugly bead bracelets when your local "Claire's" burns down! My god, look at that cartoon woman's face! Got enough make-up!? Maybe the product would be halfway decent, but I took one look at that cartoon and started laughing. To quote one Mr. Plinkett "What's wrong with your FAAAAACE!?"

Again, another garish toy with too many disorienting colors >.< Ugh, maybe I'm getting sight issues at my ripe old age of 24, but if you put several of these boxes close to each other, it gets disorienting. Although to be fair, it's got NOTHING on the tween magazines. I don't see the appeal of foil marble jewelry because you know, I don't like tacky things; but if there's anything Wayne's World taught us, "kids don't know dick!" That girl must SERIOUSLY be enjoying those things. Whoa kid, take some ritalin and calm down....

With all the negative print over kids "sexting" and the like, this game says "screw it" and lets the kids figure out how to send lewd messages BEFORE they hit puberty. Wow, this right up there with the cash register toy. I couldn't find it, but there was a toy tool belt that included a fake pager. To quote the Cinema Snob "isn't outrage funny?" Some people freak out and picket schools, while others make toys.

This toy is like a fricken MC Escher drawing! A setting of fake toys that mimic real life toys are now cashing in on a set of toys that are mimicking real life toys, but are in themselves different toys that aren't mimicking something else. Wow... Again, I don't see the point. If you want to toy soldiers, buy toy soldiers. If you want Legos, buy Legos. If you don't want the realistic look of toy soldiers, then why are you buying a watered down version of toy soldiers? Why does this exist!? Seriously, this is just as bad as the "Lego Star Wars Visual Guide."

On a more positive note, tonight was relatively painless. Sometimes the world amuses me with its strangeness. I guess you need to laugh at the little things in order to make it through the crappiness of retail.

10 Random things I Discovered about myself from Retail

2010-07-06T21:59:00.005-05:00

If conflict is the spice of life, then I've made myself some curry.

Working in retail has given me some insight into who I am as a person I didn't really notice before. Occasionally you'll get moments of reflection after dealing with a certain type of customer and you'll think to yourself, huh, I guess I really am this crazy! Either way, tonight I was what I called "banished to the back register" which involves working as a sole cashier to the mall entrance to our store. Calling it being "banished" is a harsh description since it's quiet and lets you relax a bit, or in my case, let's me think.

I wrote down ten things I've noticed about myself since I started working in retail. Most of these I didn't realize until I experienced them multiple times working. Anyway, enough with the exposition.

#1: I'm a little bit paranoid.

I never really liked people standing behind me, but when you have random customers ask you a question when their back is to you, it tends to freak me out a bit. Even worse is when someone behind you drops something or makes a loud noise. Yes, it makes me check to see that no one is directly behind me. Weird, huh?

#2: I'm a little afraid of mentally handicapped people.

(I'm sorry about the insensitive picture!)

When I was a kid, I once visited an assisted living community through a religious education program. While we were there, one of the students visiting was assaulted by a mentally challenged older woman. I think I was 11 or 12 at the time, and since then it's made me nervous around said individuals. I know it sounds awful (and I apologize) but I'm willing to admit it.

#3: I'm amused by awkwardness

It makes my week whenever a guy comes in to buy porno mags. I like watching them squirm as I ask them if they found everything they were looking for, whether they are members, or if they need a bag (or brought their own). I don't know if I'm just evil, but it's fun for some reason. Oh, and before you say I'm being mean, there's always the internet for your tugging needs. There's nothing wrong with porno, but putting yourself through that isn't necessary!

#4: I think I'm a closeted cheerleader

I can just hear the gasps of shock, but the reality is working at a bookstore has given me a variety of books that approach the subject as a sport or that it's ok to be a geek at the same time. Two such books, "The Geek Girl's Guide to Cheerleading" and "Cheer: Inside the Secret World of College Cheerleading" have made me interested in the activity. When I was a kid, we did Tae Kwon Do, but I never liked fighting people. THIS activity you can jump, flip and hop around without being in gymnastics. Maybe if I get a time machine and go back to high school again, I'll give it a shot.

#5: I'm an Armchair General

I won't get into my love of war-gaming, but when I first saw this magazine next to the e-reader stand, I couldn't help but buy it. Approximately a dozen books and magazines later, I found myself reading up on famous battles, military generals, and war strategies from the ancient to modern times. I've always had an interest with Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian, but this magazine had interesting material without drawing lines in modern politics. It kicks ass!! :)

#6: I'm a little bit of a scavenger

Occasionally we'll get books we need to send back to the publisher because they aren't selling and we need to free up inventory space. Instead of shipping the book back, we strip off the front cover and send the cover back and the book gets recycled. You can usually find a few decent books here and there, and whenever we get a batch it's like picking at corpses. I don't know why I grabbed the travel book to China, but hey, I've got it...

#7: I like symmetry

For some reason, if I'm shelving books, I like to have things be streamlined, or if there's multiple books, arrange them so their symmetrical. Whenever I work at the e-reader stand, I make sure the colored cases are symmetrical to each other and that each box fits where it's supposed to. I'm not OCD, but I like to have things put together with symmetry if possible, which is fairly common in a bookstore.

#8: I have a burgeoning interest in mechanics

With all the books on cars and Chilton manuals we sell, I find myself reading through various books on mechanics, particularly of the motorcycle variety. Although I've got a Bachelor's degree in economics from a University, part of me is wistfully looking at the prospect of learning more about how these machines work. Besides, I could work with my hands and know how a car works instead of knowing how to operate one.

#9: I get disoriented by bright colors in close proximity.

When I see a magazine cover like this one, I get a sense of vertigo and must blink a few times to get my eyes to focus in on the details. It's particularly hellish when you have about 20 of these magazines ALL with similar color schemes vying for your attention. There have been times when I've had to take a few minutes to get my eyes from spazzing when putting these magazines away.

#10: I'm decent at sales

(No, I couldn't find a decent picture, so here's Lara Croft instead!)

I've sold approximately 150 e-readers since we originally started selling them back in November. I've always hated trying to foist something onto someone, so I just explain how the thing works, and the next thing I know, someone wants to buy one. Sure... So I guess that means I'm halfway decent at it; otherwise they wouldn't have put me up in the front so often.

Anyway, I felt like taking a break from ranting about the nasties of retail, so I hope this has been more upbeat. I DID write a list of 13 things "I am NOT" when working at retail, but maybe I'll post that later. In the meantime, I've got some filming and voiceover work to do. This review may in fact need be broken into 4 pieces after I finished today's script.

Vlog: Fans and BigTradeUp

2010-07-05T22:26:00.001-05:00

Iron Liz loves her fans and discovers an intriguing new charity...

http://blip.tv/file/3844542

My Tastes in Music

2010-07-05T11:29:00.000-05:00

I've received a lot of e-mails asking about what specific bands I like.

I would definitely admit that Iron Maiden and Judas Priest are my top two favorite bands of all time, I do have a very high opinion of others such as Ozzy, KMFDM, Def Leppard, and of course, Lita Ford! I was looking for some music to listen to while I write my script, and came across an old favorite.

Lita Ford is AMAZING!!! She's a kick ass musician (seriously, watch her shred that guitar!), and on top of it, she's physically flawless! Holy cats, what a great combination. Now I remember why she was a personal hero growing up...even during my awkward gothy phase >.<

The Star Wars Roleplaying Game: Part One

2010-07-04T20:31:00.004-05:00

The first part of three is finally here!

http://blip.tv/file/3840061

Happy Fourth of July!!

Vlog: Plans and Life

2010-07-01T00:58:00.002-05:00

Here's the link for my new Vlog!

http://blip.tv/file/3827370

Everything should be fixed! Enjoy!

I don't get sad, I get PISSED (A Response to the Haters)

2010-06-29T10:27:00.001-05:00

To all the haters out there:

I was reading the comments on TGWTG on the newest review where I fill in for Linkara on his show. This explanation isn't aimed at those who gave me positive or constructive criticism, but rather the ASSHOLES who think they're being clever or to the whiny fanboys. Let me first explain some things:

I had no control over this project. This was Lewis' idea to incorporate me into a plotline he's directing for his show. Having me there was NOT meant to be a successor to this show in reality. For anyone not bright enough to read between the lines, this is a storyline that's meant to go somewhere! Do you honestly think someone as new and unknown as me would inherit this show? Has Lewis given you any indication that he's leaving? Don't you think this has build-up to the story he has planned?

Secondly, I did NOT write the script. When I came over to Lewis' house, he handed me an unedited version of a script he wrote in the style he would review the comic in. Essentially, I was reading his lines. I would have almost CERTAINLY changed what I said about it. Lewis apparently didn't notice the Dick Tracy looking like guy, I would have added a "Stuck in the Middle With You" joke to the ear part, and I would have brought up the Simpson's episode with the speak-easy petshop. I would have also used Iron Maiden in the opening credits too for that matter. But since this is Lewis' show, he can do what ever he wants to it, and I'm not going to dictate how to run his creation.

In short, the reason the review felt off was because I DID NOT WRITE IT!!

Some fans speculate that the reason my dialogue was forced was because I'm new and not established. While this is true and I tend to be a bit camera shy, it sounded forced because I didn't know what I was saying or where to put the inflections in my voice. I had less than 10 minutes to read the script that wasn't in a completely polished state. I tried to mimic Lewis' voice inflections because this was his show.

I knew reviewing represented a huge risk for me. In many ways, the Internet is a lot like a middle school. People are willing to point out any small detail they don't like, and since they're anonymous, they'll chortle over it incessantly because they can get away with it. That's the reality of things. I knew if I had to post things on the Net I'd have to develop a thick skin, because there's always someone out there with the maturity of a five year old.

I would like to make note of the positives from my fans. For those of you who have been nice to me, you're positive comments really make a difference. It makes me smile and what few fans I have are the reasons I still decide to keep posting. It would be really easy to stop reviewing, but I'm not done yet. I haven't decided if I want to guest star for anything anymore, but I'm certainly going to continue doing my own material.

You guys rock!!

Oh, and if anyone has a problem with me I'LL CUT YOUR BELLY OPEN!!!

Iron Liz the Iron Maiden

Chain Gang War #1

2010-06-28T17:27:00.001-05:00

I guest star on Atop the Fourth Wall!

Here's the link:

http://blip.tv/file/3811645

Enjoy!~